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You know, it hurts

23 July, 2012



Gone were the days I have been extremely happy of where I am.
I used to be proud of the things I do. I might have been TOO proud. 
I was too confident I failed to notice I was being arrogant.
I always thought I was right, always believed I did right.
But even if I do believe, what else can I do, I don't have the right.

You know, it hurts so much to find myself of no use.
It hurts so much seeing most of my batch mates having jobs.
I have had so much opportunities before. I had a job, but I let it go.

It hurts so much to be of no use. I feel so incompetent and abandoned.
I can't find any purpose here, I find no sense.
It's not the first, but the deepest, I feel ashamed of myself.

I make others see me as happy. I just have to, the arrogant me says so.
Little do they know, I truly want to weep.
Wallow in waters of tears and sadness and just hoping things would just go away.
Hoping that this pain and shame would just go.

I feel ashamed, weak, unworthy, useless.
I feel truly incompetent.
I feel sorry for myself, I know I could do things, but I just don't know what was wrong.

I had the opportunities, I had the chances, but now,
I might exhausted most of my resources so now I am left with nothing.
I don't have anywhere to go, I'm so lost, so gone.

I'm smart, I'm talented, I'm hardworking.
I guess, those things are not enough.
What else will I have to do?
Please Lord, help. 



Blogged @ 1:47 PM
Don't let me go -