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It's suppose to be a happy Vday!

14 February, 2012

So I live with the fact that I shall be blogging in this blog for some emotional turmoil I cannot succumbed bring in an everyday basis.... This site has been my sounding board and I thank that 6 years ago, I have thought of actually making this one alive, so I begin.

For the fact, I am now in a working mode stage of my life. I am aged 21 and in a matter of 2 days or so, will be turning 22. Oh yes, getting old but nothing much new really.

I'm now in my hmmmm... 5th job (in a span of 1 year) and I still do not know what I want to be doing. You see, I graduated as a nurse. I had my license and yes, I worked as a nurse for a portion of that 1 year fresh from graduating and earning that license. I instantly divulged into the field testing my luck and hoping that one day I would find myself in such a situation where I would be happy and contented of the kind of job I have. But no, the thought is just to ideal and after bumping into some institutional policy and some over-rated quality control policy, I quit telling myself "the stress you are going through is not worth the pain and physical stress you are enduring in this type of job" so I quit. Aside from that, I wanted to have fun too. Frantically, I wasn't having fun in that kind of job I was and so I knew I wanted something else. I also tried online jobs and man, they pay big time. The thing is, finding a nice and generous employers is totally difficult. And since I "exchanged" my luck for that nursing profession I was bravely putting myself into, I ended up losing both.

Currently, I am in the office field. The time schedule is truly what I wanted my job to be: a NORMAL TIME SCHEDULE. Infact, I want to take this seriously as this will be my fate for the next years of my life if I truly embrace this field. The first few days were fun and exciting most especially that there was recently a flood in our place and I was part of the emergency response team. I was enjoying however now, I am having a hard time with my co-workers.


I don't know but I think I got this social problem. I don't like to please people every freakin' day of my life, but I realized, I have to. Jobs have boss and pleasing your boss is part of the whole scheme of it. I also have to related to my co-workers. They drive me nuts! Most especially the "feeling good and best" individuals just drive the hell out of me.

But I know I don't have the right to go against the pride they feel. I am the newbie here and I should be the one relating to them. I don't know but the relating part is totally hard for me. I don't like to just randomly talk to them, I don't like to spend time chatting and talking to them about random stuff. Ugh.

I am starting "my own path of life" and it seems really hard. I get to the point that I doubt myself, my ability and the skills/talents that I have. It makes me wonder whether I am really on the right track. It's so hard to digest all these pressures in every work place plus the struggle of a newbie is pulling me down, truly. I have to find a way to get myself out of this cycle of applying and then quitting. I want to last long in this kind of job. I like the fact that I have a normal sleeping pattern and a normal social life because of this job. I want to be part of it and for it to be part of me for long...


I hope I do find the means to stand this kind of situation that I have. I just have to go through it and hopefully, just wiggle the dusts of difficulties I will have to endure just to keep this job.

All the best to me.


anyway, it's Valentines here.

It's suppose to be a happy day.... :)






Blogged @ 2:12 PM
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