gaaaahh.. I've been searching the net to look for that butterfly template i wanted. The black with purple and butterfly button. I need it for our computer class. I was planning to pattern our site from it, but can't find it. *sigh* I have a copy of it in the computer actually, but then again... the PC is busted. as in dead. no more power. none. dead. it wont launch! huhu. Now my problem is, how to deal with it when infact, i've got a computer project due this Thursday, then math project, due this Friday. ssshhhheeeesss... of all time! *Lord, have mercy.... I need the PC to work.*

and in connection with the title of this post... I've got this unusually odd situation. Unusual, since I don't normally do this. Odd, since I find it really hard to deal with.


I've got this guy friend.He and I had a major misunderstanding months before... you know, boy-girl thing. Then it lasted for long to the point that he and I no longer talked. (and i was making "iwas" the usual thing I do. haha) His father died just a week ago. When our block visited him, I got the chance to talk to him and then we became friends again. I actually planned to befriend him way before but grabbed no chance to do so. Well actually, the reason why we had this thing is because, at first... i liked him.. then slowly he liked me... by the time he did, I was no longer interested. (hahahaha. short term kaau!) Then I got so annoyed of his "ways of expressing" that i resulted to repressing, ignoring and avoiding.. But we're friends now. Yet, the thing is... he's annoying me of his "ways of expressing" again. I mean, I know what he's doing is not that much as how he used to, but I feel, it's starting again.. and really, this time, I'm very sure I'm so over him. No more chance, really. (sorry) Now my problem is, I'm caught up between two opposing forces. I want to accompany him because I know it would really be helpful, but i'm also afraid he might think I'm giving him another chance. Sometimes, he asks me to accompany him and I just couldn't say no. (I don't want to say no. I don't want him to feel bad. Not now) I care for his situation right now, at the same time, I care for his situation in the future. I'm just so confused... It's really out of care and generosity that I do some stuffs for him. (bad keow ko noh??) But i don't know... I'm not yet into falling-in-love stuffs, or serious relationship thing. I want to enjoy MY life, still. I feel I haven't extracted the last remaining juices of childhood yet. (haha) my heart cares, but my mind dictates. tisk. I feel I'm about to get sick..
Blogged @ 12:37 PM
Don't let me go -

I am very selective when eating fish. :P

I don't and won't wear a ring unless it's my wedding ring. (that is if i get married. haha)

I'm mad listening to religious songs. (haha)

I am a blue baby. (am I? hmmm...)

I can't stop smiling when I am happy. But I get so grumpy when I get mad or bad trip. :D

I can sing with a whistle voice. (is that how you call it?)

When I sleep, I hold my hands, at some point before actually sleeping. (then I imagine holding the hand of the person I want to hold hands with for that certain time. haha)

I've got hearing problems. (I think) haha.

I snore. (eeeeeewww) well, that's what they say. (of course, you can't hear yourself snore.)

I can easily cry but I rarely cry. (you get it? and oh, that's in public)

I am a frustrated photographer and graphics designer. (ngek!)

I talk to myself (in english) most of the time. (it's my way of practising my english and speaking ability. so don't be surprised. haha)

I've viewed almost all of the episodes of "Spongebob Squarepants" and memorized most of the lines. (actually, not just "spongebob" but most of Nickelodeon cartoons.haha)

If your hero is superman, mine is spiderman. :->

There's always a thought running in my mind most especially when I am silent.

I read philosophical books. :D

I've noticed, I can't speak straight bisaya. It's always mixed with english. (hey, I still speak bisaya. don't cha worry)

I sleep in a prison cell. (well, my room is like a prison cell, it has no windows.)

I can memorize lines from movies even if I've viewed it once.

I am a bookworm. (actually, depends on the book. haha)

I only eat the heart part when the filipino dish "atay" is served. (the heart of thre chicken is attached to the lungs. I just eat the heart, my favorite part)

I love to investigate. (Sometimes, I imagine myself as part of the CSI. :D)

I'm so into animals. Infact, aside from watching Nickelodeon (to which I first set the channel when I turn on the tv), I tune in to Animal Planet, NGC, Discovery Channel. (I wished to become a Vet but I know I just cant.)

My greatest fantacy is to fly. (haha)

Blogged @ 8:32 PM
Don't let me go -

And hhmmmm... one part of me i love is my eyes.

It's true. With this, I speak.

That's why others see me as maldita. Coz' I've got oh so expressive eyes.
Blazing when angered. (haha)

Smile!!

I am vain. Haha. :D But this will be the last. *wink*

Blogged @ 2:10 AM
Don't let me go -

ok. this sucks. our computer is sooooooo loading! errrr... lami na keow i-labay ngetz. :D But neh... that would mean, no computer till I manage to buy one for myself. haha. But atleast, it still works. Just needs soooooooo much patience from me. errrr.... ultimate test. haha. :P


anyway, this is odd. I blogged twice for today. haha. Neh.. I just feel like it. So allow me. :D

So far, my first few days in schools were fine. Had some quizzes and seatworks. (I JUST passed our quizz about map in History. haha) And I lurve my sched!! The 3hours and 3omins break is so cool. It gives me time to do things I don't normally do. (Like write a journal, read a book, muni-muni) Yesterday, one of my friend's father died. :c I felt the pain when I looked into his eyes. I felt sad at the same time. But here was the sadder part... That guy and I were not in good terms. Not that nag-away mi but lets say.... kinda, ulaw-ulaw because of some girl-boy misunderstanding matter. I had a hard time reaching out to him. But I had to conquer it all. I held his hand and hugged him. :D (for me, that was such a brave act you know!) Then I don't know... I just felt better now that we're talking and texting. Then just this morning, I had some pretty good encounters with those people I had a bit issues with. It's amazing how a little smile could tell a person "we're ok" (I just hope their smiles were for real. coz' mine was true). So far, school life is running smoothly... i hope it goes on for more days. (fingers crossed) But then again, my kamalasan is still not over. Just yesterday, I lost my envelope which contained ALL of my school suplies. gaaaaaahhh. ( I keep on losing stuffs uy!) I lost everything. From notes, to hand outs, to pens. So again, I bought new stuffs early today. And i had to photocopy the given handouts for our history and stat subject. I also copied notes (again) from my blockmates this afternoon. But it's okay. Atleast, what I lost we're just school supplies. I could still buy another set. Then again, nasayanagn jud ko atong butterfly na notepad that was given to my by Cese on my birthday. huhu. It was a cutie pa naman.

And oh! stat (as of now) is sooooo boring! Maybe because our teacher's kinda oldie and has a MONOTONE voice. Monotone because she speaks as if the words or sentences she utters have no intonation. :D (haha!) My seatmate and I keep on giggling with this thought. And aside from that, we just draw cartoons (like my unlikely eagle drawing) on our handouts and laugh at the result. (haha)

But I feel sad today. Nostalgic to be exact. Reading some post in our Ogilvie site triggered this feeling. I had the sudden rush of missing High School life, High School friends. I miss them so much!

And today too, my kuya went fly fly to thailand nah.... :c I miss him na. He'll be there for quite sometime and that means, I wont be able to text him. ugh. I hope he's ok there. Miss you!

and, and!! i miss my lilsis. *snif,snif* we're in CDO but we don't see each other that often! But i did see her last sunday... I hugged her, but left right away because she was with his kuya. I felt shy. (haha)

Kris Aquino labored today... la lang.. :P
Blogged @ 7:58 PM
Don't let me go -

ahahaha. our computer teacher's not around. (or is she?:P) And we're suppose to have a quiz now. and i did not study. aahahaha. Some of my blockmates are busy finishing the exercises we did yesterday, and since I finished it ahead of time, I'm now down to doing nothing. ugh. But it's ok. Atleast I found sometime to sneak into blogger and post. :D

So far my summer classes are fine. Got a bit caught-up with the schedule though... but it's ok. Computer class is from 8:50-10:20a.m then History 11 (life of Rizal) 10:30-12:20 and then super loooooooooong break from 12:20-4:00. Ten minutes after would then be my Math 11 (stat) class. hmmmmm... I wonder what I can do during that long break. hhhmmmm... I listed some activities though (haha) I got surf the internet, read, read, read, and read.. then study for math! Atleast, given with that long break, i wouldn't have to stay up late comprehending my lessons in math. I could use an hour or so of my break to study. In that way, I could really come prepare in class.

and my computer at home is busted. Well, it's not really busted that it's not functioning. It does not turn on immediately. Something's wrong with the connection or switches. (I really don't know) But when it's on... it functions well but sometimes logging... Someone told me if I reformat it, it would run smoothly. I'm still thinking bout it... and I'm still looking for a technician and time. gaaaahhh..

and oh!! i had a weird dream last night... I dreamt about a huge thunderstorm. Really scary storm. Roofs of houses were blown away, trees were uprooted, and the place was so dark. In my dream, I knew it was summer and I wondered how a thunderstorm could happen in the middle of a summer heat?!? well, that was all I can remember. pretty weird though. haha.

oooopppss!! got to sneak out now.
will write soon! ^^
Blogged @ 9:44 AM
Don't let me go -

ahahaha. our computer teacher's not around. (or is she?:P) And we're suppose to have a quiz now. and i did not study. aahahaha. Some of my blockmates are busy finishing the exercises we did yesterday, and since I finished it ahead of time, I'm now down to doing nothing. ugh. But it's ok. Atleast I found sometime to sneak into blogger and post. :D

So far my summer classes are fine. Got a bit caught-up with the schedule though... but it's ok. Computer class is from 8:50-10:20a.m then History 11 (life of Rizal) 10:30-12:20 and then super loooooooooong break from 12:20-4:00. Ten minutes after would then be my Math 11 (stat) class. hmmmmm... I wonder what I can do during that long break. hhhmmmm... I listed some activities though (haha) I got surf the internet, read, read, read, and read.. then study for math! Atleast, given with that long break, i wouldn't have to stay up late comprehending my lessons in math. I could use an hour or so of my break to study. In that way, I could really come prepare in class.

and my computer at home is busted. Well, it's not really busted that it's not functioning. It does not turn on immediately. Something's wrong with the connection or switches. (I really don't know) But when it's on... it functions well but sometimes logging... Someone told me if I reformat it, it would run smoothly. I'm still thinking bout it... and I'm still looking for a technician and time. gaaaahhh..

and oh!! i had a weird dream last night... I dreamt about a huge thunderstorm. Really scary storm. Roofs of houses were blown away, trees were uprooted, and the place was so dark. In my dream, I knew it was summer and I wondered how a thunderstorm could happen in the middle of a summer heat?!? well, that was all I can remember. pretty weird though. haha.

oooopppss!! got to sneak out now.
will write soon! ^^
Blogged @ 9:44 AM
Don't let me go -

Inevitable. Unavoidable. Unstoppable.

Three words that man have come to book in a dictionary given with meanings that are at least similar in a sense. But these are not just words used to beautify a sentence in a creative writing contest. These are words mostly used as an adjective to describe an awfully truthful event in each and every one's life.

A priest once made mention during his homily about the saddest lines man has articulated.

"if only...."

"what if..."

"i shouldn't have..."

After every event when something goes wrong, these so called "sad lines" are uttered and one can't help but feel awfully sad and helpless.. "ghad! if only..." (hear the emotions behind these words) But take a hault and think.... What happened is inevitable, unavoidable and unstoppable. It's beyond every mortals' power and control. It's beyond our hands. And it's not even under HIS divine power.


Life is a combat where in a soldier has to fight even if he is not prepared. He has to stand straight and be firm just like every other soldier positioning themselves in the battle line obeying their commander, their leader. And no matter how many bullets or bombs that come right at him, he has to face it with all bravery and might. Whatever comes, it's inevitable, unavoidable, unstoppable. Then only on his death will people know that he gave up everything he got for that one final blow.


But come to think of it, he could have done something right? Maybe find a shield to protect himself, or look for a spot to hide and wait for the area to clear. But no. He didn't because he obeyed his master's command. That is to fight and never to surrender. So there was his reward. Eternal rest. Peace. Honor.
Blogged @ 4:12 PM
Don't let me go -