when I viewed this, I cried for the first time. :'(

I just miss high school. I thought I was over missing it but having dinner with high school friends and reminiscing the days reactivates the emotion, the nostalgic emotion.

I miss high school. I really do.

Blogged @ 10:08 PM
Don't let me go -

Me: "Manang, palit ko ug roses, ayaw lang nang yellow ha kei bright ra kaayo."

Manang: "Chada nga dili ka ganahan ug yellow kei meaning ana, dili ka selosa."

...and from then on, I learned to hate yellow for I do not like to be identified as selosa.

Feeling jealous is not what I normally do. I do not feel jealous that easy because first, I feel grateful of the things I have and second, feeling jealous for me is accepting my defeat and I hate being defeated. I won't deny that I sense when I begin to feel such emotion but then I resort to laying down my armor, blocking the feeling and repressing it. I never really recognized jealousy. "It's not part of my vocabulary in life" if I may put it rightly and precisely. However, my armor's energy to block may have subsided through the years... now, I begin to feel pain, the pain of jealousy.

There were two persons who weakened my defenses... two person dearly close to my heart. It doubles the pain knowing that I love these two, but I just feel that I do not have the right to feel this way... it's just not right.

Yet I do not feel sad I am jealous. I am overwhelmed instead. It's like I am happy I feel this way for it makes me feel real. I just do not feel self-inflicted pains such as frustrations and discouragements but including the feeling caused by too much love. It also tells me I am capable of loving and hurting is just part of loving.

The pain I feel is not like any normal pain. I have to carry it all alone, swiftly and silently for I do not have any plans of revealing who these persons are and why I am jealous. The pain is eating me inside but, ironically, I am nourishing it. Maybe because I want to keep myself reminded of how much I love them, that even though it does hurt, I still choose to continue to love. At least, I can tell myself I am real...
Blogged @ 7:23 AM
Don't let me go -

At dahil ito ay uso... bakit hindi ko itry diba? got this from Ninemonths... ;)

1. How tall are you barefoot?= 4ft. 10.5 in.

2. Have you ever smoked?= yep. when I was a kid. I was curious. :D

3. Do you own a gun?= how I wish. haha

4.Do you hate someone right now?= depends whether I see the person. :D

5. Do you get nervous?=yeah. and I just hate it.

6. What do you think of hotdogs?= *double meaning* haha. ;p

7. What's your favorite Christmassong?= Jingle bells? ^^

8. What do you prefer to drink in themorning?= cold milk

9. Can you do push ups?= uh-ha.

10. What do you wish to experience?= watch bukas palad concert, live.

11.What's your favorite piece ofjewelry?= earings.

12. Do you like painkillers?= if it really kills all sorts of pain

13. What is your secret weapon to lurethe opposite sex?=my smile and "pacute" effect. haha

14. Do you own a knife?= I would love to. :D

15. Do you have H.I.V?= you think so?

16. Name?= Mellany Almen J. Hugo

17. Name 3 things u wanna do at moment?= blog. finnish the letchon. make posters.

18. Name the last 3 things you late: food, drink, chocolate.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:= C2(I just have to drink), water, milk.

20. What time did you wake up today?=woke-up at 2:30 am, slept again, woke up at 3:20 am (to study), slept again and finally woke up at 5:35 am.

21. What is your least favorite food?= Tuna.I just cant tolerate the after taste of tunas.

22. Current worry?= S-T-U-D-I-E-S. :c

23 Current hate?= I said depends whether I see the person. :D

24. Favorite place to be?= in a wide open soccerfield under a bright fullmoon. (diba? ^^)

25. Least favorite place to be?= elevator. I always feel dizzy. ugh.

26. Where would you like to go?= retreat house. haha

27. Do you own slippers?= would you believe I dont? swear. I don't wear slippers inside the house. :D

28. What shirt are you wearing?= striped t-shirt, dominant color is violet

29. How many times do you cry?= It's in regular basis, I cry around 5 times a month. :D

30. Favorite color?= blue, pink, and green

31.Would you like to be a pirate?= I don't like their profession. and they look filthy.me don't like.

32. Last time you had an alcoholicdrink?= that time when I got frustrated of my math subject.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?= religious songs. my gosh. haha

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?= snakes! I got afraid of the thought that they will grown bigger than me and eat me whole. :D

35.What's in your pocket/s right now?= fone.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?= the bloopers I shared with gellie when I had my Return Demonstration of the genital-perineal care. umbilicus is = to scrotum. oh diba?? hahahaha

37. last thing that made you cry?= unable to help a sick friend. *yes I cried that time*

38. Worst injury you've ever had?= I just had minor injuries.. so many minor injuries. ;p

39. Who is your loudest friend?= beki! MEGAPHONE! haha

40. Chilhood monster/s?= helicopters. I got afraid of their sounds.

41. Would want to have?= a pet. a dog, labrador! oh I just love dogs.

42.Who is your most silent friend?= my alter ego. I only get to hear her. haha

43.last movie watched?=transformers with myself. :)

44. What is your favorite book?= Paulo Coelhos books and Jostein Gaardner. Totally the best!

45.What is your favorite chocolate?= toblerone & vanhouten

46. Minimun internet usage?= if there are no class the next day, I could spend the whole day.

47. What song do/did you want/played at your wedding?= I'll think sa ha...*not sure nga if I wanna get married* ;p

48. What were you doing 12 AM lastnight?= dreaming... drooling on my pillow. haha. kidding! :P

49. What was the First thing you did today?= study.

50. What was the last thing you didthe day before yesterday?= memorized a 5 long paged medical procedure. *nerd*

51. What do you think of the last person who repost this..?=a person of pure heart. ninemonths a.k.a Isa Pimentel.
Blogged @ 9:45 PM
Don't let me go -

a blur. Life is in constant blur.

I have never heard of a man who lived his life with visions, dreams, and goals as clear as distilled waters are. Even one of the most brilliant man I have ever met in my life even suffer from vexation and ambiguity. The aspirations one desires is either unknown or uncertain. It's one fact I know, but coping up with this uncertainty is the greatest challenge above all the others. Why greatest challenge? It's because it's the point in a person's life that he has to epoche, to bracket things and begin to focus on one particular path brushing off all the blur-causing-factors in an attempt to see what is clear. It's never easy to choose from various options as what I know, especially when each choices are in accord to one's call of the heart. This is then when the "blur" begins.

It pains to realize that I do not really have a certain path that I want to take for real. I fight, I live, I struggle but for what cause? for my cause or for the cause of others? I will make a genuine guess as to what people would tell me if I begin to ask this very question to them, they would say "Just follow the flow." sa tinuod lang gi kapoy nako ug sunod-sunod lang sa dagan sa panahon ug situation. gusto nako maghimo ug ako mismong dalan... dalan na malipayon kong baktason. But there's one things I am certain of the general path I want to take, I want to take the road less traveled.

I pity those classmates of mine who are very certain of the path they are to take. "4 years school, 2 years review and experience, 1-3 years work abroad, 16+4+2+3=25, by that age I shall proceed to medicine, study for another 4 years, specialization for an additional 2 years and by age of 33 that would be the time I will get married." See? They have plans! I even MEMORIZED the time table of their life! I wish I see my future is as thorough as how they perceive themselves to be ten, fifteen years from now. I wish I am certain of the paths that I shall be taking. I know that in one way or another, these plans of theirs will have to be modified due to some uncontrollable circumstances. They'd have to take 3-5 years off their time table and spend it rather on "some other things not part of the plan" activities. But I cannot deny the fact that they DO have a pathway to follow, they know what they want.

Wanting something and having it is always a satisfaction to our hearts and even to our souls. But how can satisfaction be granted when even even one's desire is unknown? Which path will I take? Which among the many paths is less blurred? I do not know.

Blogged @ 8:14 PM
Don't let me go -

Taralyn Stacey Conol Estrera. The ever energetic sporty lady of Cabo, belated happy birthday!!! (Aug.18) Happy birthday tar! you must be really HOT to have convinced this guy to take a pose with you. nyaaahahha! *i know it's edited ha* :D Happy birthday! miss you! Take care always. ;D




another birthday was celebrated on the month of august. THE woman behind every Ogilvie victory, our ever beloved moderator, Ms.A. ^^ Last Aug. 12, we made a little surprise for her in XU. Good thing she teaches there so we didn't have to go to XUHS like what we did last year. We bought 6 "mini" cakes (that were devoured by us! haha) and 3 balloons. The original plan was to bring her to Gazebo (some part of XU) but since the weather was heavy and harsh, we had to transfer somewhere else. We couldn't find any other place so what else did we do? ambushed her, in her class! :D well, not quite like that.. but yeah, we pulled her out of her class, brought her downstairs infront of LT and there we sang happy birthday, gave our wishes, piggishly ate the cakes. :P and picture2x galore. The pictorial part caused some traffic in the ground floor of SS building because we were blocking the way. tungod sa among ka "baga" ug fiz we even asked a pure stranger to take a picture of all of us! Gosh. Just imagine the crazy slash embarassing things we could do when we are together!

The giving of messages and wishes was the sweetest part. I told ma'am, "ma'am you are the best math teacher ever!" and you know what she replied? "you are also the best class I ever had." aaawwwhhhh... how sweet!!! ♥

And this is me. The nerd one. The one who wears glasses. The one and the only me. (now with the glasses.) Tisk. I have betrayed my eyes. I didn't take good care of them. sad. But I don't have to wear these always anyway, only when needed. But still, it's glasses. *sigh*
Blogged @ 1:03 PM
Don't let me go -

This is my sister, Victoria Pulido a.k.a Beki, from my High School parents, daddy Ed and mommy Cese. According to my mommy, she's a test tube baby. An experimental baby of some sort. :D We keep on arguing who is more loved and she always reasons out that I am an illegitimate daughter so I am least loved. I protest! (I am the daughter of mommy cese and her kabit, si tooooot, who is gwapo and popular. haha) It's a never ending argument, I tell you. (Basta, i deserve equal right! :D)

I enjoy so many things with this wacky unlikely kiat sister of mine. In fact, she's the "mother" of the barkada who constantly reminds us to behave and act normal? haha. She can never dare to strike a seductive pose. "Dili daw niya kaya" oh diba?!? one kiat, naughty, unruly, wild sister (me) needs one strict, formal, not so kiat sister (beki)

another story...

Almost everyone who knew about me in high school have heard about that unbearably wicked story in third year HS. It's been many years but I still shed a tear or two every time I come to recall that turning point of my life. It was painful and I still have the scar. I hated the idea that people left and accused me. I hated being accused since then. I never realized I became too cautious as a result of that "hatred"... I became doubtful. Doubtful in almost everything.

In as much as I hated being accused, I thought I would be invulnerable of committing such act. I was wrong. although I may not have accused a lot of people, but I doubted a number of them. It is a mistake I profess.

And I did doubt my sister, beki. Because of that mysterious displeasing SMILEY INTRUDER in our class site. It's so happened that I opened our cbox account and realized that smiley and beki's IP address are the same. I then thought maybe it was her... Another mistake. It turned out I wasn't really her. (see your effect smiley??)

So now I say my piece, I am sorry for doubting bek. I am sorry for doubting you, you and you... for all the people out there. I am sorry for not giving my full trust. I know how painful it is to be doubted by people. Sometimes, you even result to doubting yourself. I am sorry if I am doubtful. I have to learn to loosen up my chains... But for now, I am sorry for those I doubted. :)


*************************************

yey!! exams are finally over. no more sleepless nights!!! no more long-term reading hours. No more painstaking analysis and memorizing. well, atleast for the remaining weeks before semi-finals. :D I am definitely sure my grades will deteriorate this first half of the semester. It's not at all easy to get high grades in chem, RLE, Health Care and Physics! eeeerrrr... Oh well, my ultimate goal anyway is to get through this nursing course. I'd settle for passing grade... hmmmm... well, maybe... :D But not always! (mel your promise----ok, ok.:D)

The end of the exams also mean more time for internet!!! ^^ I am wacked with internet. I am so hooked up to it that I CRAVE for it! I dream, I eat, I think, I sleep internet. haha.(obsession??) Time also allowed me to change my template. I am literally getting obnoxious of my previous template that I was dying to change it a month ago. And since time is but a priceless treasure in nursing (that I normally spend for catching some sleep. haha.) I barely had the time to touch my blog. Thanks to this computer-spent whole sunday appointment, I reconnected with my beloved computer. ^^
Blogged @ 7:30 PM
Don't let me go -

help! our faucet exudes a gastly liquid. And by gastly, i mean clear BROWN liquid. To think, I obliviously drank a whole glass of it. (yikes!) I put the blame on our glass. Our glass is colored clear dark yellow and because of this, it masks the color or the water. I gulped the water-filled glass this morning. It's already evening and so far, I do not feel/observe any abrupt changes in my body. But my concern now is, how on earth will I get a clean water for me to bathe?? life, life, life....

.... midterms, midterms, midterms... hell, hell, hell...
Blogged @ 7:24 PM
Don't let me go -