- Lock my life with you ;

SLEEP OVER

31 May, 2007

Last night, i had a sleep over with my friends. That was the first time i had a sleep over that's not school related. :D

actually, the reason why we had sleep over is because of that video we had to edit. This editing part took so much time! I had to stay up till 4 am just to patch-up things. (i wasn't finished that time ha?) But it's ok. It's all worth it. (diba gellie?:D) and to think, i slept at 4 am the day before

We had candle light dinner with matching rain and christmas lights on. We had scandalous pictures and videos. haha. we had corned beef for every meal. *lami man pud* (we had to cook our own since my mom wont) We had never ending pictures. They (kating, cese, ed) owned my computer. We drank coke and iced tea (alternate for every meal) We had a sleepless night. We had laughs. We sweat. We danced. We stripped. haha.

over all, it was fun. F-U-N, FUN!

and oh, this was ONE OF THE scandal videos i took. haha.

If you know these people... sssshhh!! they will kill me if they know i posted this. Unless they discover themselves. haha. :D

Blogged @ 8:19 PM
Don't let me go -

if i were to speak my heart. this is it...

28 May, 2007

Blogged @ 11:05 PM
Don't let me go -

id never trade this for anything else.

there are things money cannot buy.

there are things only the heart can understand.

there are things that are kept silent.

there are things that are almost left behind.

there are things that needs to be here. (on earth)

and i am very glad...

despite the world's madness and chaos...

i had people like them around. :)

Blogged @ 12:50 AM
Don't let me go -

My fone.. my precious phone..

24 May, 2007

Ever lost something so precious?

I did. I did. I did. Yesterday, I did. :(

I lost my phone...

The thought of it is excruciating.

I don't have it on my palm.
My eyes yearns to look at the LCD.

My fingers are in itch to text.

I love that phone.

I took so much care of it...

Despite its unit and looks..

I LOVED IT AND I AM STILL LOVING IT.

That was the only thing I actually owned.

The only thing that I can call my own.

The only thing I had for myself.

I did not allow others to borrow it.

I did not allow others to read my messages

I did not allow others even to play with it.

THAT PHONE WAS MINE, MINE, MINE!

That phone too was my voice.

That served to be my eyes in cyber world.

Through the messages I send

I text what I cannot utter in the real world.

That phone was my bridge.

My bridge to my love ones, to my friends, to my dearests..

Through my phone, I show my affection,

my care, my love...

To compensate the absence, the time, the distance.

Oh! how I cant stop but weep...

waking up every morning not hearing the alarm from my phone...

waking up and feeling blank, not being able to tinker my phone...

losing the thing that keeps me company and keeps me from being idle

looking at others, enjoying the sweet bond of their phone.

hearing the same message tone and

remembering my very own phone.

Waiting... with my hand as idle as my heart.

I care so much about that phone.

In fact, I love it so much.

My heart is broken...

Shattered to ~~pieces~~ bits of pieces...

I lost it in such an unexpected and unwanted time.

I lost it at my utmost need of rejuvenation.

I lost it on an imperfect time.

I've been through a lot...

REALLY a lot this summer.

The least I expected was to be happy...

As summer class concludes.

How can I be happy now?

When I lost that one thing..

the only material thing that I loved the most.

If only to shed a thousand tears...

would cease the pain I feel.

If only I could stop missing my phone.

If only... oh God, just if only... :(

As golum would say,

"My precious"

Oh yes! my phone..

my phone is MY PRECIOUS.

Oh! my precious phone...

Where are you?

I miss you so much...

Blogged @ 9:17 PM
Don't let me go -

mga hinaing...

20 May, 2007

natapus na ang eleksyon... may nanalo. may natalo. pero, marami ang nandaya. Akala ko, hindi totoo ang "vote buying"... mali pala ako. Nakita ko mismo, mismo ng mga mata ko. For once, nahiya ako. Nahiya ako na Pilipino ako. Na kapwa ko'y nandaraya.. at pumayag namang madaya. Nakakahiya ang ginawa niyo... naniwala pa naman ako.

Politics is dirty. It will always be dirty!

************************************

My days in the past has not been easy... I'm experiencing pretty tough rides. Anxiety strikes again! Then again.. self pity. When, oh when will I be proud of myself? When will I be happy of what I am? When will I find my heart beat the melody of my soul? And why do I ALWAYS experience this "soul searching" mode?

I am a girl of great deep thoughts. I think deep, and I experience pain deeply. I hide the pain because I don't want to appear as if I am living in misery. Yet, who am I fooling? I know I can't always be like this... but, I can't come out talking about my pains and hurts to someone, I just can't. Or maybe, I choose not to. Well, I don't easily open-up to people. That's the problem... I am very unsure upon what to share, what to say. I am afraid of what might come out of my mouth. I don't want, oneday, that the people involved would hear what I uttered. And that I might hurt them. Or that they would be sorry, that they would start to feel self pity. This I wont allow. I'd rather take the pain for myself. Living for 17 years, I think I have hurt enough people. I have made a number of souls shed a tear or two. As long as I can stop myself from hurting, I would do whatever it takes. Even if absorbing all of life's selfishness. If this be a curse I would take forever, let it be. My heart has had many scars... I think there is still space to leave some more. If this be the way I could affirm to myself that I have used my life not in waste, not in disgust, not in selfishness... If this be the way I could say I would be spiritually happy.. If this be the way I can show my care, affection, love, friendship.. If this be the way I could raise my chin and be proud... God, I give you my heart. Take it. The Whole of it. ~~And please.. Can you take my life with it too?~~ Much of my life, I have lived in resentment... Atleast, what I could do about it is to live a life of utmost purpose. I've got a feeling, I would be really happy there. :)

*****************

School work is hell. I hate Statistics. I will aways hate Statistics. Maybe because of our teacher.. (sorry, but I blame her) Ghad! I don't get whatever she discusses. She introduces this process in class, but when the exams come.. we have to figure out the process! walay pulos ang iyang discussion... errrr... mas makasabot pako kung magread ko! ay.. ambot na lang jud. I am extremely having low grades. Ghad! I hate it. I have it. I hate it. Samuk! huhu.

Blogged @ 9:00 PM
Don't let me go -

HEAR the call, RESPOND to that call!

09 May, 2007

There's a right response to every call.

Many movements were organized to shout for justice in our land. Cries that were desperately addressed were, most of the time, junked out to the subconsciousness of individuals. Or maybe by some, were heard but were abruptly ignored as time started to descend. The incapacity of the many to care atleast not for themselves but for the majority has become increasingly out of control. Many have become apathetic! (pardon me) It reached in such alarming rate that even a simple act of voting has become an option rather than an obligation. (I cannot vote still, but If I could, I would)

Our country is calling you. We all need a response from you. Your vote should be heard!

Enough of the lame excuses, enough of the ingenious promises, enough of the never-ending objections of the system, you are now given the chance to change it. Your vote counts! We are counting on it.

I am but a student who cannot stop but hear all these chaotic on-goings in the seat of government. I cannot just ignore this! I am part of this society. I am a Filipino! And I am calling all my abled Filipino Voters to PLEASE VOTE FOR THE SAKE OF OUR COUNTRYMEN.

Argumentum Misericordiam-----don't get your mercy run over your vote. Don't get the mercy of yourself take over your vote! A package of food, a few amount of money, a hand shake-----these are but superficial reasons based on irrationality. These cannot change the state of our country, these cannot change your state!

Think of how precious your vote is. The souls (and future) of a thousand rest upon the strokes of your hand as you write their names on that electoral paper.

I am 17 and I still have my hopes up for this country. I still believe to what my fellow Filipinos can do. I still trust that each and everyone would think for the common good.

Feel what our land is feeling. Hear the call, respond to that call!

Blogged @ 8:37 PM
Don't let me go -

I lament over my computer.

07 May, 2007

My computer has risen but have died. :D

It's so sad... due to the helplessness of my computer, the technician (who happens to be my cousin) had no other option but to reformat the computer, deleting every single file in it. :(

I feel sad. I have had treasured so much files with so much memories in that computer... from the chats I had with special people, to the pictures and down to my personal journals and compositions. The pictures of my classmates for which I am the only who had a copy, especailly our graduation pix. The journals, that I composed when I felt the utmost need of communicating with myself, for which I have always kept a secret for so long, now are gone. The works I have been working on... now, I have to go back to where I started! and some of the things I have started to encode already, I fear I did not keep a copy of those. huhu. (and I lost them all and I have no back-up copy for those.) They are all but a thing of the past now... What a pain this is for me. I hate this. I can no longer access them and refresh the memories I had.

I guess this is a start of a new beginning for my life, and for my computer. New memories to build, new treasures to keep. But i'm too darn down to start.... too hurt to start a memory. Now I fear to upload photos in my pc. haaaayzzz.... ambot. sakit! huhu

haaaaaaayyyyzzz... sayang lang jud. :(

Blogged @ 2:48 PM
Don't let me go -

He's my hero

05 May, 2007

yes! oh yes! my hero... (and perhaps, my fantasy. haha)

I just watched Spiderman3 about an hour ago.. and I sooooooo looooooovveeee it!!! The story is very touchy, inspiring and full of lessons about life, love and most of all, FRIENDSHIP. I just couldn't get the hang of it. gosh. I love Peter Parker. :P

I love the story.. the best of Spiderman so far. I was amused of beginning part. Then, there was a scene there that featured the man who escaped from prison. As he escaped, he went directly to their house to see his daughter. It was such a sweet scene. His wife disgusted him... then he said this line. "I am not a bad man. I am just having bad luck." I can so relate with this... haaaaayzzz... I believe some people are not really bad when the whole world thinks they are. (I know how it feels. I was one of them) Then, by the middle, i couldn't help but feel the agony of Peter. Having to lose hold of his MJ, his temper, himself. Then here comes harry. He became bad! sooo bad that he attacked Petter! Even had the guts to show himself...

My favorite character is Sandman. His story is sad but at the same time, inspiring... He was the one who Killed Pete's uncle. (BUT, it was accidental) I thought he was bad at first, but later on, found his character very heart-warming. All the things he did was not for himself. He said, he had no choice... his daughter was dying and he badly needed the money. he said something like, "I did not want these things to happen. All I wanted was to save my daughter. I had no choice. She's all that I've got." Very sweet indeed. Such a good father if you ask me.

By the end of the movie.. I was practically crying the whole time!! Even after the movie and during the trailers. haha! (You see, I've got this thing.. It's so hard to stop myself from crying once I start to cry!) Kashia was laughing at me already. (bad au!) basta you should watch it! Very inspiring! very touchy!! I love it!!

"You start with the hardest part, forgive yourself"
"The choices we make, makes us who we are. We all can have the right choice."
"You are loved by your friends."

Blogged @ 6:33 PM
Don't let me go -

Lord, I offer my days to you.

01 May, 2007

I Offer My Life

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours
Chorus:
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

I saw this video in youtube and I really love it so much! I find the creativity very amazing! I've been looking for this song since I heard it. I was moved by the lyrics and the melody... perfect words to fit what my heart tries to speak. Lord, I love you. Ü

Blogged @ 3:44 PM
Don't let me go -