2:15 PM: Fresh from Hospital Duty (so I was in uniform) I saw kuya bobot (KKP FPO) at the canteen having his very late lunch. I made lambing to him so he'll libre me, and he did. I also kept bugging him on how I feel sooo miserable of not being able to join the RSLP team at Sumilao for I really wanted to go. I asked him when and what time will he join the group there, then he said around 3pm of the same day. Then the craziest idea popped out from my puny wild mind... "Kuya bo! uban ko then uli lang dayon ko! dungan lang mi ni ate barbie... pleaassseeee.... " After mumbling reasons why he should let me, he was finally convinced and so off I went to change from my uniform.

5:00 PM: the bus for sumilao left.

7:00 PM arrived at Sumilao. We were welcomed by ate barbie, kuya doodz and ven at the highway... I was so excited to see my foster family and meet my playmates (almost all the kids in Sumilao! haha) to have a lil game. To my dismay, kuya doodz kept on telling me that there will be no more bus after 8 PM. I got totally scared (FOR I STILL HAVE A DUTY THE NEXT DAY AT 7 am!!!), so I changed my mind, instead of extending till 9PM I resorted to going to the freedom hall, meet Nanay there and some of the kids... and after barely 10 mins of interaction, off I went to the waiting shed. HUHU!!!

I went to Sumilao (a 2 hour trip) just to experience a 10 minute interaction with my foster family and some of the Sumilao Kidz!!! Imagine that?!?! But the almost 15 minute stay was such a heart warming experience! What a music it was to hear the kids in Sumilao call out my name, "Ate mel. ate mel! Dula na pud tah!", sweetly knowing that they still remember me very well! And what an ecstacy it was to have hugged my nanay there after 1 year!

10 mins of interaction, 15 minutes in the land of Sumilao, an eternity of a sweet memory I will always cherish. I did not regret spending much of my time travelling just to go there even if it did cost me a lot! No amount of money could ever buy the immense feeling I felt with every second I was there... overflowing.

But I had to hurry back home for I did not ask any permission at all from my parents. They totaly had no idea I was miles and miles away from home! haha. But thankfully I got home safely, and so I immediately wrote this. I know it's worth to write and keep.

What could be more crazy than exchanging 10 minutes of interaction, to 4 hours of bus ride and a 260php immediate cut-off to a weekly savings???
Blogged @ 10:32 PM
Don't let me go -

Things have changed, things do change.

I've watched Stuart Little last night and the casts made mention about an empty space, a hollow being.

Lately, I've been feeling the same. It seems that the things I am doing right now are out of a routine in life. I go to school, I accomplish the requirements, I go to KKP and do volunteer work, I go home, watch TV or surf the net, I go and eat, then off to bed. Every single day, I do all these things with some +/- thrills along the way. I do not complain that much really, but it becomes tiring when the spark of life starts to burn out.

Before, I used to be thrilled with the thought of becoming a "head" of a certain project or work, but now, I avoid the very thought of it and my only reason is "kapoy man jud." Last year, I could remember at these times, I have buried myself with some photoshop edited photos and albums and be overwhelmed and proud of my work as I eagerly post them in Multiply or Friendster. But now? only about two photos I have edited, and it's not like the best. It's pretty simple and obviously without any chunks of creativity. Another proof, this blog used to be filled with thoughts and updates. Now, since last year I have posted about 10-15 entries only running for 12 months! Now how updated is that?

Here's the real problem. Currently I am assigned in the documentations committee for the Regional Service Learning Program or RSLP and we are to present a video presentation at the end of the training. It's no problem at all because I know how to edit and stuffs, but I don't really feel excited and inspired upon doing this project. Ignoring the fact that I have had failed video presentations in the past due to some unavoidable circumstances. I really want to help and I know it's nice to share my talents and skills but it seems all of my creative juices are gone! How on earth will I create a beautiful presentation then?

I'm pretty scared of this project really because I'm making this such a big deal. It sums up all the efforts I've been trying to show them during the past and if I screw up with this, what else can I give? There are younger volunteers following my line of duty and I am sure, with the next work and tasks it will be theirs... This is probably my last chance to show them what I can give, that's why I am making this thing a great deal!

And with this empty space goin' on... How will I create?
Blogged @ 9:33 PM
Don't let me go -

For the first time in my whole existence in life, I've finally acknowledged the feeling of "loneliness." Absurd,huh? For I never really felt I was alone, until now.

Suddenly, I just got the feeling everyone's either (a) running away from me. (b) intentionally avoiding me. (c) or just getting too busy. I hope and wish it's the third option. :c

Since first year high school, I got used to being alone. It was fine with me, I enjoy doing things on my own even to the point of eating in a fast food chain alone, watching movies alone and just plain strolling around a mall. It didn't bother me. Then I reached college. I dipped myself into the pool of people and some friends. Spending time with them is undoubtedly the best. And now I got used to it. My first to third years in college confirmed that time spent with friends is truly more enjoyable than being alone. Smiles, laughs and tears never ceases to flow as we enjoy every single school days spent together. There's just so much fun and even is school kicks the hell out from our neurons, the endorphins released from total ecstatic moments spent with friends equal the tension.

But now, where is everybody? I don't seem to feel their presence anymore. Even with my barkada, things have changed. We all were very excited when summer comes because it would mean countless night outs and outings. But it seems the excitement ended, or just halted? I hope so. We don't look forward much to our "days out" and if ever we do, we're not complete.

I just miss the fun my friends used to bring into my life. I miss their company, I miss their laughs, I miss their tears. I plainly miss them.

I want overnights, I want slumber parties, I want watching movies WITH them.

Where are you? Guys, I miss you. Don't go.
Blogged @ 9:10 AM
Don't let me go -