Things have changed, things do change.

I've watched Stuart Little last night and the casts made mention about an empty space, a hollow being.

Lately, I've been feeling the same. It seems that the things I am doing right now are out of a routine in life. I go to school, I accomplish the requirements, I go to KKP and do volunteer work, I go home, watch TV or surf the net, I go and eat, then off to bed. Every single day, I do all these things with some +/- thrills along the way. I do not complain that much really, but it becomes tiring when the spark of life starts to burn out.

Before, I used to be thrilled with the thought of becoming a "head" of a certain project or work, but now, I avoid the very thought of it and my only reason is "kapoy man jud." Last year, I could remember at these times, I have buried myself with some photoshop edited photos and albums and be overwhelmed and proud of my work as I eagerly post them in Multiply or Friendster. But now? only about two photos I have edited, and it's not like the best. It's pretty simple and obviously without any chunks of creativity. Another proof, this blog used to be filled with thoughts and updates. Now, since last year I have posted about 10-15 entries only running for 12 months! Now how updated is that?

Here's the real problem. Currently I am assigned in the documentations committee for the Regional Service Learning Program or RSLP and we are to present a video presentation at the end of the training. It's no problem at all because I know how to edit and stuffs, but I don't really feel excited and inspired upon doing this project. Ignoring the fact that I have had failed video presentations in the past due to some unavoidable circumstances. I really want to help and I know it's nice to share my talents and skills but it seems all of my creative juices are gone! How on earth will I create a beautiful presentation then?

I'm pretty scared of this project really because I'm making this such a big deal. It sums up all the efforts I've been trying to show them during the past and if I screw up with this, what else can I give? There are younger volunteers following my line of duty and I am sure, with the next work and tasks it will be theirs... This is probably my last chance to show them what I can give, that's why I am making this thing a great deal!

And with this empty space goin' on... How will I create?
Blogged @ 9:33 PM
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