certainly, being alone for 2 full days and 2 full nights can make one reflect and look back on actions and events that have brushed on one's life. Things that were paid only a pinch of attention seem to be of so much relevance. I guess I never noticed their importance until I really paid attention to them.

Lesson #1: it is not at all easy to maintain cleanliness of a house. I spent the whole morning disposing the sh*ts of our dogs, cleaning the outside and inside portion of our house, doing the laundry and feeding the dogs. These things are the chores my dad regularly performs. I over looked on how much effort he has to do to finish these tasks. My dad's one great guy...

Lesson #2: Let's skip this part.If people wanna forget you, let go and let them do so. I just realized, why do I have to push myself to someone who doesn't seem to show interest anymore? I am frustrated and totally tired of hoping and waiting for the kind of response I want to receive from people. I mean, there are a number of them whom I give so much attention yet take my actions for granted! I finally swallow the idea that it is already too much.

Lesson #3: I am hurting, cramming, crying, procrastinating, loving (?), but surviving. It does require self determination and patience to reach our goals. As for me, I wanna be "there" so I have to do the things that I must do (even if it means, giving up something things I love) in order to bring myself "there". Toil and you shall receive.

Lesson #4: I envy those who are actively participating organizations and clubs. Although I am happy I am a member of KKP, I am not actually proud. Not proud because I am not an active member. Because of my Saturday class, I am not able to hold NSTP sessions. I am also being deprived of time... much of my time is being eaten by school works and responsibilities. Of course, they weigh double so I have no choice. Although I really want to be an active member of some clubs and organizations, I just couldn't because of my heavy course. Some of my friends get busy with their orgs, they talk about it and there I am, left at the corner feeling miserable having to do nothing! Errr... I hate feeling useless.

So far, not so good. Well, at least my life begins to have meaning when busy myself even with the at most desperation to have something to feel, worry, think and act.

I don't want to begin to love the word "hate"....
Blogged @ 10:02 PM
Don't let me go -