haaaaaayyzzz!!! finally, school is in hault. yes, in hault coz we have summer class. (sigh) errr.. i think we're the only college having summer class as a regular schedule. (masterals is an exemption) tisk. nursing is heavy. really heavy. so many units!!! right now,
i'm thinking about shifting. Shift to a course where my heart could freely speak, my spirtit could freely leap. I'm tired of weaving my own dreams for someone else to appreciate. I may be able to weave that dream nicely but I wouldn't be proud to accept it as my work. I want to follow the voice that calls with in. Dance to the silent song it sings. I hope to find my place... that oneday too, I will believe that all things have their place. When one's heart is captured by something (or someone), it will be quite hard to accept something new. And it is at these moments that I struggle to accept things not because I want to. But because I have to, for the sake of not disrespecting the ones for whom I continue to weave "that dream."



Well anyway, Block NB (our block) had an outing last march 21-22, 2007. It was an over night event held at cawayanon and mangima. It was fun, yeah. But not really the best outing. In fact, I may not remember the activities we had 10 years from now. I did enjoy a little. Especially during the amazing race. But over all, I find it rather not fun.


After what happened weeks before, I decided not to join. But then, I told myself I would be very selfish if I don't give it a try to extend my arms and reopen it once again. I convinced myself to erase in my mind whatever happened and start a new beginning. I told HIM I will give it a shot. But I just coudn't do it. I don't know but I just can't. I gave it a try, but I failed. Maybe because there are a few of them who made me feel uncomfortable, awkward and misplaced. I feel their doubts, their "i don't like her" hidden manners, their spying eyes, their pretentious games, their fake smiles, their "napipilitan" gestures, their "as if" unaware yet intentionally unaware. I see it all, but I pretend not to feel it. It's my way of easing the "pressure". Well, I guess I just have to live my life. Go on, move on, LIVE!

Since the break, all I did were surf the net, watch tv/dvd, edit photos, make videos for debuts, chat. Hmmmm... quite a long list. :P plus, include there, reading since next next week I will make a little sacrifice for the lent-----no computer (ghad! i could spend 7 hours straight!). So, the lingaw would be cut off since most of the activities are computer related. eeeekk!! (i hope i make it)

I want to post something sensible soon. And I decided to make my blog more presentable and ncie. Uhm, perhaps in every post, there will be a photo or photos. Then, I will change my template. (ugh, this one's getting old) and hmmm... ambot. sense less post. :D






(if you happen to read this and you are one of my blockmates, I am sorry but I own this blog. I have the right to express my thoughts, feelings and emotions here. I do not intend to hurt you or create another issue. I have become such an issue and you are all an issue in my life. I just want to express what I hide from all of you. You think I don't notice it? I do. And I do get hurt that's why you often find me silent, sitting at one corner coz' I choose to silence myself rather than wear a mask and present myself before all of you. But don't worry, I do not inted to address this to all of you. I have some good friends in our block. I just would want to target some. Just some)
Blogged @ 9:11 PM
Don't let me go -