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17 May, 2006

questioning about things...

there are so many questions that bug me today... i somehow question whether i am rightful to exist here on earth... or is my existence appears to be "something" here.. i do not intend to catch attention here.. nor i am depressed that i want people to comfort me.. but somehow i am questioning " why am i here?"


yes, i wonder why i am here... why am i existing.. you know, once in my life.. i wish i am invicible.. and i'd go to those people who knows me and somehow observe what their world would be if i didn't exist rather than i don't exist..

sometimes i also wonder how come i was lucky enough to realize that i am existing.. and even come to think that there are various parts of my life that are really part of MY REALITY and others, just a part of my fictional world. There are also moments when i think that i'd rather live in that fictional world... coz i can say i am happy.. but what can i do?... those don't really exist!

how come i exist, and they don't? (mel, they do...) they do? they DON'T! for a while maybe.. but they don't! but hey, funny as it may seem... i try to live to that reality... the reality that how i've always wished to have become better.. to have become much happier... no, i am not sad right now...but i just wish that somehow.. this real side of me is going to be happy... i am willing to live here.. but how i wish it would be a better place to live in... sad.. but mel, this is reality..

Blogged @ 7:13 PM
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